rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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