I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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