I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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