Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize