So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
