You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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