mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
