id be glad to
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You don't make any sense
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