just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
