It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
