remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You are a genius and a whore.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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