I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
