They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
