put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
