she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
