the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
