so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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