I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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