What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
