so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize