every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
