We're like a lot better than the average bears
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
