the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Found the puke drawer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize