i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
