don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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