so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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