Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
