I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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