2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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