All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
