I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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