i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
