so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
