How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize