I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
