how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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