Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
