Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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