Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
