let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize