She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
