Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
