im drinking this country out of the recession.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
