My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
