I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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