i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
