chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What a dumb baby whore.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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