I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
