That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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