South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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