the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize