I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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