you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
