Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize