Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
