cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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