so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i dont even know how to be here
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
