If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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