I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
