Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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