Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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