all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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