i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize